Week 6 – Sunday Storylines

Red River runneth over – As the star of the Texas State Fair weekend–known for its gluttony and overindulgence–Red River Shootout circa 2023 did not disappoint. This game came out of the gate hotter than fish grease, with the first quarter alone featuring interceptions, trick plays, blocked punts and more.

In the end, though, Oklahoma’s last-second 34-30 win was about a few things, in no particular order:

Big picture, this win firmly puts the Sooners in the driver’s seat of the Big 12 title race. Their schedule is cake the rest of the way. and it wouldn’t be surprising to see them rattle off a 12-0 regular season record.

For Texas, their only hope of salvaging this season’s sky-high expectations is to hope they go unscathed the rest of the way and get a shot to avenge this loss in the Big 12 title game. Texas-OU Part 2? Who says no?

Mario Cristobal Malpractice – Mario Cristobal should be arrested for fraud and launched into the sun immediately.

With 33 seconds left in the game against a pesky Georgia Tech team, Cristobal decided to shotgun his own dick off in a historically awful fashion. Instead of kneeling the game out, Cristobal inexplicably OK’d a run play, and in turn, a Miami running back was stripped and GT recovered the ball.

In real fuck around and find-out fashion, Georgia Tech quarterback Haynes King splashed a deep pass to an open receiver and the Bees stole the game by a score of 23-20.

I’d like to inject Mario Cristobal’s impending excuses into my eye sockets and drink his incompetence like a comically large, fruity drink while lying on a beach. What an absolute disaster class coaching job.

Louisville makes a statement – Before the season, I and many others identified that Louisville had a pretty easy schedule and that they should be strong to start the season. I did not, however, have them being 6-0 and upsetting a top 10-ranked Notre Dame, but here we are.

Give credit where credit is due. The Cardinals made life very hard for the Notre Dame offense, and specifically Sam Hartman all night. They pressured him in every passing situation and he had a hard time reading the coverages.

Brohm is a really good coach. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that. He took a ton of portal guys and has shaped them into a good team thus far in 2023. Major props.

Scared money don’t make money – No amount of future 5-star recruits, oil money or eye-brow-raising coordinator hires will elevate this Texas A&M team as long as Jimbo is terrified to take calculated risks. Refusing to go for it on fourth down at the right times, coupled with the current level of quarterback play, is just so limiting for your chances to win close games.

Bama looked good for most of the afternoon in their 26-20 victory, headlined by the connection between quarterback Jalen Miroe and wide receiver Jermaine Burton. Burton balled the hell out, hanging nine catches, 197 yards and 2 TDs on the Aggies’ heads. Milroe in particular made some really progressive throws.

I appreciate Bama’s hilarious offensive formula of dink and bomb. All day it was either dink it short and hope for YAC or just absolute heave it. Funny stuff.

Defense optional – In life, it’s important to know who you are and who you aren’t. For much of the early season, LSU attempted to keep up the facade that they were a complete team in all three seasons. Fuck that.

The Tigers finally said screw it on defense, instead opting to go all offense all the time. Today it worked like a charm as they went on the road to beat Missouri 49-39. Jayden Daniels is quietly having a helluva year, and he added three more touchdowns to his tally today.

RANK WYOMING – I identified the Fresno State-Wyoming game as a potential banger and it certainly didn’t disappoint.

Craig Bohl’s Cowboys simply make life hard on any opponent that comes into Laramie. They pressured the Bulldogs well and did a great job of slowing down Fresno’s stud quarterback Mikey Keene en route to a 24-19 victory.

On offense, Wyoming quarterback Andrew Peasley slow and steadied his way to keeping his team in the game.

I just can’t but love Wyoming. It’s time for the Cowboys to be raked in the Top 25.

Death ray: Activated – UGA heard the Kentucky chatter all week and said absolutely the hell not. This one was a beatdown from start to finish. Year to year, we should probably stop projecting UK to stick with UGA, because it just happens so rarely.

Watch out, everyone. Georgia might’ve just woken up.

Big bad Bruins – UCLA is quietly having a truly outstanding defensive season, as they’re only allowing a tad over 10 points per game. Despite an ugly early loss to Utah, the Bruin defense is legit and they put the clamps on Cam Ward and Wazzu this afternoon.

They beat the No. 15 Cougs 25-17 and look like they could be an outside contender to make someone’s life hell the further along the season progresses.

Carolina cruisin’ – I can admit when I’m wrong and I was wrong about UNC. They’ve developed a real, live defense and they’re off to a strong 5-0 start after dismantling Syracuse today. With Duke’s Riley Leonard out for the near future, I think UNC could have a real shot at winning the league if they can scheme up a win against FSU.

Ugly Iowa – Iowa beat Purdue 20-14 without completing a single pass to a wide receiver. This is some nasty, nasty work by Brian Ferentz. They can’t keep getting away with this!

Miami Ohio is legit? – The Redhawks shut out a competent Bowling Green team today by a score of 27-0 to reach 5-1 status. Led by Brett Gabbert (brother of former Mizzou QB Blaine Gabbert), Miami OH has already notched a big scalp against Cincinnati and looks ripe to make a good run in the MAC. Let’s keep an eye on them moving forward.

Colorado State vs. Utah State UNDER 66 - -1 unit

+1 Texas Tech vs. Baylor - +1 unit

Kent State vs. -26 Ohio - -1 unit