Week 1 - Sunday Storylines

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Midway through the third quarter, I texted a friend that the only way Nebraska could possibly lose this game was if they shotgunned their genitalia off…and well, sometimes the jokes write themselves.

In what was supposed to be a hopeful start to the Matt Rhule era, Thursday night’s showdown against Minnesota ended in an all-too-familiar fashion: With the Huskers and their new coach meeting the same fate as their predecessors.

This game was by and large not great football. Minnesota’s offense looked constipated all night and Nebraska’s offensive gameplan appeared to have been devised by spinning the Wheel of Fortune wheel and landing on the slice that read Do Something Cool Jeff Sims.

Nebraska, for all their deserved grief, did have some good moments. They shut down the Gopher’s rush attack and made things very bite-sized for Kaliakmanis. And for the most part, it worked..until it didn’t.

On the flip side, man, this was a tough debut for Jeff Sims. He looked really good on the ground and I can see that being a big part of the offense moving forward. But in the air, he struggled mightily–failing to stretch the defense (outside of the fluky trick play) and tossing a trio of interceptions, one of which was a backbreaker that sent the Huskers to the chiropractor and the Gophers into the win column. Those picks and the fourth-quarter fumble spelled bad business for the Huskers.

There’s probably a recipe for success with Jeff Sims.

What it doesn’t look like: Having Sims run around and pull stuff out of thin air.

What it does look like: Run the ball (with running backs) somewhat consistently, control the clock, allow Sims to use his legs where it makes sense and limit the need for him to bail you out through the air.

Last night, it felt like they gave Sims a little too much leash in critical situations and they didn’t get their desired outcome.

For all the doom and gloom, there is a bit of a silver lining. Rhule is a much better coach than Frost, I’m sure of it. But now with this loss, the Huskers fall to 2-14 in one-score finishes since 2021. It’s an almost unfathomable level of horror. Somehow, someway, they’re going to have to find a way through that statistic if they have any hope of getting to a bowl game and getting that ghoul off of their back.

Gator bait

11 total points.

21 rushing yards.

Nine penalties for 45 yards.

And two dudes running around the field with the same number at the same time.

I could feel the Gator fans melting as I typed this.

The UF-Utah game was second-screen material in my house, but this game sorta solidifies where I thought I landed with Florida. I thought Utah would be tougher, more disciplined and play better at the quarterback position. And despite rolling with second and third-string quarterbacks, they did just that.

Florida’s offense felt way too reliant on the throwing ability of Graham Mertz. (Yes, I just said that.) Mertz finished 31-44 333 yards with 1 TD and 1 INT. Forty-four pass attempts are way too rich for my blood with Mertz. Florida is going to have to find a better way to generate yards and points.

For Utah, their defense was stellar, as they held the Gators to 1-13 on third down and only a 50% success rate in the red zone. Plus, both Bryson Barnes and Nate Johnson looked good (for the most part) at QB. The 24-11 result should feel like a resounding success for the Utes and a real reality check for the Gators.

Colorad-YO!

If Colorado’s offensive performance against TCU on Saturday was part of a rap song, it’d be Lil Baby’s verse on Wants and Needs. Just like that verse, what we saw from Shedeur Sanders, Travis Hunter AND DEM BOYZ (*Stephen A. Smith voice*) was special. In what was the highlight of the early slot, Coach Prime’s team backed up all the summer smack talk in a 45-42 road win against No. 17 TCU.

Now, all that said, let’s put a simmer on this big pot of sudden expectation soup we’re spoonfeeding the Buffaloes. Their defense outside of NCAA 14 Create a Player Travis Hunter was suspect, and their special teams were worse.

But give credit where credit was due. They backed up the talk. Sean Lewis coached his ass off with that offense. And they notched a huge win to kick off the Coach Prime tenure in Boulder. You can’t ask for a whole lot else.

Purdue…more like Pur-don’t.

Being a first-time head coach is hard. Not an ideal start for Purdue head coach Ryan Walters.

Bad BC

Boston College needed a late comeback to tie at the end of regulation, and they still lost at home to NIU 27-24. Losing to a 2022 sub .500 MAC team to open the year is really grim for Jeff Hafley.

UW with a big dub

Washington is an early contender for the damn-dude-this-team-is-fun-as-hell title in 2023. They love slinging the ball around and it shows. Michael Penix has a wealth of weapons at his disposal and I have a feeling they’re going to cause hell for a lot of secondaries this year. Penix did a stellar job of spreading the wealth, en route to 450 yards and 5 TDs in the Huskies’ resounding 56-19 win against Boise State. I really like what I saw from Penix and the Huskies today.

TEXAS STATE STAND UP

Hey, what the hell happened to Baylor? Oh wait, I think I found the problem.

Let’s give some flowers to the Texas State Bobcats and their fearless leader GJ Kinne. Kinne, the architect of the run-and-shoot Incarnate Word offense, kicked off his tenure at State with an incredibly impressive 35-21 upset against Baylor.

What does this loss say about Baylor? Not sure yet. Texas State was horrible last year so it’s probably not great that they waltzed into Waco and came away with a win.

Cookin’ in the Carolinas

The resounding sentiment from watching this game is that South Carolina’s offensive line pass blocks like they hate Spencer Rattler. They got whipped up and down the field all night, and it made Rattler’s life a living hell.

On the flip side, Drake Maye crushed once again. He’s so damn good. Some clueless NFL franchise is going to be crushed if they don’t get Caleb Williams. But Maye is a helluva consolation prize if you ask me.

And, uh, North Carolina kind of found a defense? They’re really going to make me try and eat my words, huh?

Happy in Happy Valley

Based on this one game against a lowly West Virginia team, I’m here to declare that Drew Aller is the best Penn State quarterback in a long, long time. Shhhh, we’ll see how he does later on. No more questions at this time.

Illinois dodged a rocket-sized bullet

Bret Bielema and the Illini juuuuust escaped with a 30-28 victory over Toledo, courtesy of a last-second field goal. Does this spell trouble for Illinois? Does this mean I was right about Toledo being a wagon again this year?

-15 NC State vs. UCONN - 1 unit

-12.5 Clemson vs. Duke - TBD

Northwestern vs. Rutgers Under 40.5 - TBD

Colorado vs. -21 TCU - 1 unit

Kent State vs. UCF Under 58 - 1 unit