College football is often associated with the word “Tradition”. Fans reminisce when thoughts of the band, the tailgates, and the rivalries set in. These things are great and are a part of why we love college football. Today, I am here to talk to you about a tradition in College Football like any other, BUYOUT SEASON.
Coach buyout season simultaneously highlights how stupid this sport is and how there is no longer agency in athletic programs. Case and point, Gus Malzahn, the former Auburn Head Coach (now Head Coach at Central Florida), is collecting a cool $21.4 million dollars to not coach a football team. Auburn fired Malzahn despite a 68-35 record and playing a significant role in the 2011 title game. Gus also went 3-5 against Alabama over his tenure. The Auburn donors staged a coup and fired a man that did not deserve it.
Agency diminishes by the day for college athletic programs as the one donor willing to spend the money usually wins out. That is another topic for another day. Nevertheless, 2021 will bring about instant wealth to an already wealthy person. Please find the Three-Point Stance’s top buyout season candidates below.
Justin Fuente (Virginia Tech) - The Justin Fuente era at Virginia Tech was supposed to usher in a new era for Virginia Tech football. Frank Beamer had built that program into a contender every year and Fuente was the hot name in college football after a successful campaign at Memphis. Fuente, who has compiled a 38-26 record during his time at Virginia Tech, is on the hot seat after a few lackluster years. He was deemed an “offensive guy” and yet his offenses have not finished in the Top 25 in PPG since he took over. Furthermore, last year a press conference was held only for the AD to announce that he was not, in fact, firing Fuente. If improvements aren’t made this year I expect Fuente to get canned. Don’t feel too bad, Fuente stands to make $10 million for his troubles.
Scott Satterfield (Louisville) - The Scott Satterfield era has been a mess from a program that is used to dealing with messes (see Rick Pitino in an Italian restaurant). Not only is he bringing a 12-12 record to the table, he actively tried to seek out alternative employment while his team was still playing last season. Satterfield faces a difficult non-conference slate and could very easily be looking for new employment starting in October. Satterfield stands to collect $3.5 million.
Jim Harbaugh (Michigan) - No one loves “tradition” more than a Michigan fan and they will certainly be looking to showcase how much money a Michigan degree is worth when Harbaugh loses to Ohio State for the 7th straight year. Harbaugh was supposed to be the guy. He was a “Michigan Man” and a direct descendant of Bo Schembechler, who by happenstance is a descendant of Jesus Christ himself. Seeing your most hated rival go on to have 100x more success than you only adds fuel to the flame underneath Harbaugh’s chair. Michigan fans will arise from their dens and pay $4 million to rid themselves of their sins.
A few other names to keep tabs on as we head into 2021: Dino Babers (Syracuse), Coach O (LSU), and Matt Wells (Texas Tech).
Coach buyout season captures ego, misalignment of incentives, and pettiness all into one package. There’s nothing quite like college football and that’s why we love it. I look forward to celebrating buyout season every year and I hope now you do too.