Hey guys, it’s 11:01 PM and I’m listening to the Shutdown Fullcast After Dark LIVE. Where do I even begin? Today, was an absolute day. When I say day…I mean a full ass out, two-cheeks-shining-in-the-sun-ass day.
It’s one of those days where people who don’t care, and when I say care, I really mean care, about CFB don’t get it. It’s not an elitist thing. It blends conference allegiances. It blends rationalities. You’ve got to love the whole hog for today to matter. It’s a cross between degenerative tendencies and a religion…mixed with a little chicken fried bullshit.
Today was filled with emotions. Usually, I try to do a neat and tidy rundown of the week. Well, guess what: Not today. We’re calling an audible. You’re getting a rundown of stuff that interested me and nothing more. I appreciate y’all. Tell your friends about the Three-Point Stance.
Husker Heartbreak
Hey man, look, I’m not going to lie to you: I don’t like Nebraska and actively root against them. That said, I like to think I can watch a football team and give a good assessment.
It’s been 8+ years in the making, but at 9:18 PM I texted fellow Three-Point Stance founder Cameron Morgan the following: “Cam, this might be the end of an era.” I genuinely believed it. Cameron, a KState alum and lifer, and me, a Southerner that loves bucking trends, bonded over our Nebraska distaste many years ago. I thought we were watching the changing of the tide tonight. I was wrong.
At this point, you need a Black Mirror-ass writer to conjure up a new and inventive way for Nebraska to lose in a painstaking fashion. Seriously. Losing to an atrocious Illinois in Week 1. A shanked punt to MSU. The list goes on.
Tonight, I really thought Nebraska would win. Despite growing in lore and correcting a ton of previous mistakes, NU QB Adrian Martinez got stripped at the most critical point in the game, leading to a 32-29 loss to a very gettable Michigan. Michigan doesn’t feel that good. This would’ve been the game for Scott Frost and the Huskers.
It pains me to admit this..but here we go: I think Nebraska is decent. Do they find unique and comically bad ways to lose each week? Yes. Are they still incredibly undisciplined and it feels like they make the worst mistakes at the worst times? Yes.
That said: Adrian Martinez, who I have bad-mouthed via text message way more than I’d love to admit over the years, has fixed a lot of previous mistakes. He is definitely the best QB in the B1G West. Do with that what you will. Somehow tonight, they were frisky for a quarter and a half and it felt like they would win.
But the whole Scott Frost era is sorta chalked up to tonight’s result. The Huskers show promise. There’s a path to something… relevance. But they find a way to mess it up. I thought Frost had a great chance to have THE signature win tonight. They didn’t win. It’s tough to swallow. I still think the schedule sets up for them to upset an overinflated Iowa team the last week of the season. Let’s talk after Black Friday.
95 MILLION, AND 95 MILLION MORE
There isn’t a college football coach that I like more than Texas A&M’s Jimbo Fisher. I respect Jimbo for a number of reasons.
Number 1, he’s so Southern to a fault. I have a soft spot for Southerners. People think they/we are dumb but we got a different way of doing stuff, ya hear?
Number 2, he’s rich but he acts like someone who has never seen money. I don’t blame him. West Virginia is humble beginnings. It’s just hilarious at this point.
Number 3, I can’t unhear the things the Shutdown Fullcast has said about Jimbo Fisher. Spencer, Holly, Jason and Ryan are perfect. I can unhear the iconic lines of “I’LL MAKE MY OWN SUGARLAND” or “GET’CHA POOR HANDS OFF ME” or the iconic line about muskrat jerky.
Tonight, A&M and the fake ass troops did the unthinkable: they beat the gold-plated Alabama Crimson Tide 41-38. There is a lot to unpack with this game. First of all, holy hell how did A&M muster 41 points with Zach Calzada at quarterback? Secondly, how did an A&M team that lost to Arkansas and Mississippi State in consecutive weeks then beat the almighty Bama?
This, my friends, is the beauty of college football. Last summer, Jimbo Fisher doubled down on his Bama slander and said “We’re going to beat his ass even when he’s there.” I’m here for it. Jimbo said it and has the receipts.
What does this say about Bama? Nothing? I don’t really know to be honest. The year of 2021 has shown that every team is gettable. Maybe Bama just got GOT. It probably just means Bama beats UGA in Atlanta and we get both of them in the CFP.
Hey A&M, y’all better build that damn muskrat jerky Jimbo statue now.
RED RIVER GRENADE LAUNCHER
First things first: I’m really glad the committee behind the Red River (Rivalry?) (Shootout?) solved gun control. I can’t imagine living in 2021 with the word “Shootout” being associated with a game like Texas-OU today. I feel safer knowing we don’t call it that anymore.
Lord have mercy, Red River was an absolute GAME. OU somehow preposterously stormed back (with a backup QB) and beat Texas 55-48 on the last real play of the game. There was a whole dang lot to unpack with this game.
Number 1: Jesus Christ this was a whole Texas football season in a single game. There was an unrealistic crescendo, a very puckered asshole moment and then a downward spiral where everyone that wasn’t wearing burnt orange pointed and laughed at. In the end, I did feel bad for UT.
Number 2: OU had a changing of the guard before our very eyes. Look, I haven’t been shy about my Spencer Rattler feelings. I called him a Tik-Tok-ass QB. But man, Caleb Williams had a different look about him. Everything felt different and better with him running the show. That man is the new OU starting QB. They feel very different with him running point.
Number 3: I feel bad for Steve Sarkisian…I’ll say it. My man blew the absolute doors off their bitter rival, got high on the hog and ended up dazed and confused in the back of a crooked cop car drunk as shit without his phone and his girl with his buddy at the end of the night. That sucks for him and for UT. I like Casey Thompson. Bijan Robinson is an absolute stud. That game was just so…weird…I don’t even know how to describe the flip.
This game had a ton of BONKERS plays, including Marvin Mims’ freaking ridiculous ass catch. Cherish it, man. I can only imagine how erect Gus Johnson might’ve been calling this game instead of PSU-Iowa.
VODKA RED BULL FOOTBALL
The Red River game took a lot of eyeballs during the 11 AM time slot and deservingly so. But man, oh man, Arkansas-Ole Miss was the good stuff.
When CFB games get weird, it’s easy to compare that to a drunken stupor. It’s right there..so we take it. Especially considering a lot of us that love the sport have…dabbled in said stupor.
But I shit you not, this game felt like what it felt like in college when I drank too many Vodka Red Bulls.
When I say Vodka Red Bull…if you’ve never been there, it’s hard to explain it. The vodka is potent, doing the damage you expect. The Red Bull, God bless the Red Bull, is the upper you need in short spurts. But boy, oh boy, if you have one too many…you are teetering on the edge of pain and glory.
You feel a little too excited and your inhibitions are gone and you are just totally off the rails and you hope you have a crew of buddies that make sure you don’t derail your entire life for a 12:32 AM turn up your junior year of college. But man, if you hit the perfect amount of Vodka Red Bulls…you feel like Bradley Cooper in Limitless.
Let me tell you: Matt Corral and Lane Kiffin turned into Limitless Bradley Cooper today.
This game as a whole was a whole bunch of big dumb stupid. It was a lot of the good parts of college football.
Arkansas brought their WOMPIN’ STICK to Oxford and Mississippi born and bred KJ Jefferson finished with 6 total TDs and 326 yds. He was a menace in all facets and is a lesser version of Cam Newton. He’s very fun.
On the other side, we had our patron saint Matt Corral. Personally speaking, I would ride into a battlefield for Matt Corral. He’s the perfect mix of FUCK YOU, swagger and stupid arm talent that makes me love to watch him. He’s my Heisman favorite and I won’t apologize for it. Corral finished with 4 TDs and 287 passing yards but tossed an absolutely improbable bomb late in the game that all but won the game.
The HOGS responded with a touchdown and Pitmaster Pittman rolled the dice and went for 2 and the win. They failed, but chicks dig scars and they won a ton of cool points. Fayettenam Forever, man.
My very hot take is both of these teams are good and would beat the shit out of most B10 and Big 12 teams.
MEEP MEEP, MOTHERFUCKERS
Hey, if you don’t want to hear about the UTSA Roadrunners, you can contact me on Twitter @38Godfrey.
In all seriousness, UTSA found a way to win again. They gave up an ass-ton of yards but beat WKU 53-46.
Once again: We worship at the church of Jeff Traylor and UTSA.
Hey Guys, Wave At the Kids
If you start drinking, you’re going to end the night thinking about weird stuff and questioning how the day went. That’s just the playbook.
That’s why I’m finishing the recap with Penn State-Iowa. Look, OK, credit to Iowa, because technically, you won 23-20. A win is a win.
I still think Iowa is not that good. They got fortunate with PSU’s starting QB going down. I will still wager that Iowa runs the table to only lose to Scott Frost and NU on Black Friday. I might be in attendance for said game.
I LIED GUYS, WHAT JUST HAPPENED IN LEXINGTON
I like to give credit where credit is due: Cameron called the “Coach Orgeron is a fraud and will be fired in 2 years” theme two years ago. Boy oh boy, we are getting there.
LSU got gobsmacked by a (good?) Kentucky team 42-21 in Lexington. Coach O and LSU are 3-3 with 4 ranked teams to go this season. The gumbo might be getting too spicy for Coach Orgeron. Amid the sexual misconduct scandal and the subpar play on the field, the Bengal Tigers might be lookin’ for a new headman next season.